Candles

Have you ever sat in darkness, watching a candle flame sputtering as it drinks the last drops of wax in a dying effort to remain alive? Flickering shadows dance about as if anxious to overcome the waning light. A sadness rises within me when I see the last flare of light yield to the dark. There is an ending ....of light and warmth, and of comfort, and of security. Something is over...maybe the evening party, the birthday, the quiet evening, or a time of meditation. A candle flame mesmerizes the watcher. The mind wanders and wonders in thought, oblivious to all distraction. There is a loneliness in the watching and the flame is a companion fending off that loneliness.

There is so much in life that is like a candle flame....burning brightly and then waning and a final sputtering out.
It could be the end of childhood and the loss of innocence; or the ending of a love affair; or the passing of a parent or a friend; and, of course, the end of a life. You will know what I mean if you have had the experience of watching a person die, as I did with my father. One can literally see life flicker out as if it were a candle flame.

A business acquaintance made a point of seeing me about four weeks ago. We hadn't seen each other since my surgeries and recovery...well over six months. After the handshake and hello's and some banter, I noted he had lost weight. Pulling me aside he confided that he had lost weight, but had not been trying to, and that he was not feeling well and was to see his doctor the next week. This last friday I was informed that he had died the previous week in the hospital....some two to three weeks after I had spoken with him. I knew he was ill after that meeting...he as much as said so, however indirectly. His flame was sputtering as I stood there and talked about life with Lee. I sensed it and walked away knowing it.

These are some thoughts....I am not in a dark place. I think of the life I have had, the people I have loved, the people I have hurt and the one's I have made happy...sometimes they are the same. My flame burns brightly and I look forward to an illuminated life.

But none of us knows how much wax remains to fuel the wick.

SRH