Trauma

A fellow "pilgrim" had recommended I search out internet message boards and blogs that featured commentary by "survivors" of coronary by-pass surgery. Perhap I could find comfort, if not inspiration, in the narratives of others like me who were coping with the emotional and physical impact of the surgery. Yesterday, I followed through and located two message boards...one being more popular than the other and therefore carrying more traffic.

Frankly, I consider myself fortunate to be where I am in mind, body and spirit some thirteen weeks after the triple by-pass. I called this "coming to terms". Others have not come to terms, as evidenced by many of the despairing messages I read. Often a spouse was writing about the pall of darkness and depression that settled over the relationship and the family. Other messages were posted by the patients...and only a few were positive and vainly tried to reassure the traumatized that life could be good.

I was truly disturbed and wondered if there was something I was missing. The predominant attitude was that life was over and death had been put off for a short time. Was the end going to be within six months....or next year....maybe two or three years? So, what's the use in the lifestyle change required for ongoing health?
Many were experiencing renewed symptoms of angina, shooting pains, shortness of breath...and fear.

Perhaps my surgeon was the best compared to some less-than-best surgeons that did their job inside of the chest walls of these people. Perhaps my heart, though at risk, had not suffered any damage and theirs had.
Perhaps I am naive and should be harboring some fear for the future. But I am not where many of these people are in recovery.

I think that we travel our life path taking so much for granted. When some event shatters our assumptions about how things should be, we are tested to our core. If our spirit is not strong, if it is not founded upon solid ground, if its values are undefined, then recovery from that trying event is difficult, if even possible.

I'll continue looking for other blogs and message boards and keep you in touch.

SRH