Sad News....

Sue received news over the weekend that her cousin, Alexis, had succumbed to the cancer he had been fighting for several years. Alexis and his lovely family lived in Mexico, but they spent much of their time in the United States and the children, now all accomplished adults, were schooled in the U.S. and/or Europe. Alexis was somewhat of a mythical figure in the Rovzar constellation of stars. His illness and the battle brought him to a better place in respect to family and faith. He was a good man, not perfect, but a pilgrim on a path in search of something greater than he had ever sought before. While his alloted time was short...and all knew that....his passing was still a surprise. He was only sixty years old. His beautiful wife and children will miss him sorely.

Of late, we have met, often by chance, acquaintances and old friends we have not seen for years. I am surprised by the striking incidence of cancer among these people.. One of our dear friends is starting another round of chemotherapy after undergoing a second surgery to remove tumors. Another had prostate cancer, while several breast cancer survivors are among the group. Of course, I am in that group as well. How many more are there?

SRH

Some Thoughts

There are innumerable personal blogs on the internet. This blog-site alone must have tens of thousands. I have visited many and found that they have been apparently abandoned like so many storage units full of personal effects forgotten or useless to on-going life. Some are serious, some are frivolous, some were started to celebrate a life's experience like the birth of a child....but they are all personal and reveal something of the blogger.

Having the opportunity to view my Journal as a published work allowed me to grasp the fullness of the experiences of the last nine months. I am happy that I recorded my thoughts in this Journal. The past recedes quickly in the memory and becomes a shadow of the reality of those experiences that fill our lives. Writing a journal preserves the thoughts about and the impressions of the experiences of a life. Writing can be a way to heal our hurts and can lead to a path of growth. The very act of putting our thoughts in words demands introspection and clearer thinking than we may be used to.

We all have a story...and in the telling we can find ourselves.

I have resolved not to abandon this Journal. I am still coming to terms with my cancer and heart issues. I wonder if that state of understanding will ever be. And "What's Next" is a process of self-realization. There is no end to that process. It is continous growth till death.

SRH

A Christmas Present.......

It has been almost two months since my last posting. In that time I have intended to print the Journal using my copier and place the pages in a three-ring binder. I even bought the binder and printed several of the messages to see how they would look. I never found the time, or made the time to accomplish the task.

Unknown to me, Scott and Sue set about to have the Journal published as a hardbound book using some publishing software they downloaded from a service specializing in self-publication. On Christmas morning, after opening presents, Scott asked me to go to the back room and take a look at the computer screen. I was sure there was some internet purchase on backorder. Instead, I sat down to an image on the screen with the words "Simple Gifts" hovering over it. Scott opened a "page" and I immediately saw the title of one of my blogs and realized that what I was being shown was a "copy" of the published Journal. A surge of emotion brought tears to my eyes and I wept openly. I couldn't help it. I cried intermittently throughout the morning because of the memories.

The books were on backorder and finally came on New Year's Eve day. They were real books...I had actually been published (LOL). Anyway, the books were beautiful and tastefully done. I think the "most special" feature is the dedication written by Scott Hamrock in which he explains the significance of the cover image. That image is a ghostly and abstract photo of my heartbeat as it appeared on one of the heart monitors hours after my surgery.....a "new" heart beating strongly and out of danger.

Here is what he wrote:

I honestly think that there is no better image to put on the cover. It speaks to the message of the journal, Dad's journey, the truths he has uncovered...it even echoes his love of music and evokes
images of the mountain ranges he found himself in on his little sabbatical. The fact that it is an
abstract treatment of his new heartbeat is intrinsic to the many meanings it conveys: it is ethereal, mysterious...and fleeting. Finite. But with it he has returned to a truer version of himself. And that is the simplest gift of all.

Yes...the simplest gift of all.

Stephen