April 12th and April 14 marked the anniversaries of two of the procedures that initiated what I have come to realize and accept as a life-saving, or life-preserving, series of events. My desire was to write of this on those two dates....I did not forget them, I'll have you know...but the good people at Google acquired the blog site some time ago and the e-mail address and password had changed without my knowledge. It is just one of those "internet things" we all put up with from time to time.
No....I did not forget those two dates, indeed I have anticipated them for some time as markers of the passage of time....a full year. So exactly one year ago this hour I was in a recovery room...Intensive Care, I think, with tubes and monitors festooned about my body and nurses hovering over my bed pricking my fingers to test blood-oxygen levels, making sure the Foley catheter was properly inserted (it hurts going in and coming out), checking drug levels and pain relief meds.....and so on.
The truth is I have a very poor grasp of any timeline of events and experiences through much of my recovery that stretched from mid-April through June of last year. I think I still have my wits about me, but often I find myself with furrowed brow wondering if some event, or meeting, or whatever, happened before, in-between, or after a particular surgery. Only vignettes remain clearly in my memory....images I dredge up from the darkness that reflect some reality of the past.
Sue gave me a bound-in-ribbon packet, last Thursday, of letters and cards from wellwishers, friends and my family. I had never seen them. Tears came to my eyes as I read them, one-by-one. I retied the ribbon around them and thought for some time of the impact those days of worry and fear had on so many. I did not fully understand that until I read those notes and letters.
I am healthy....I am active....I am working...I am happy. I am not fearful or anxious about the future. I look both ways before I cross the street...... and I eat healthfully and modestly.
The only residual issue is a modest ventral hernia that has developed adjacent to the incision made to remove the carcinoid tumor. Patching that up will require minor surgery. Perhaps my stomach will look flatter than it presently does.
My last entry to the blog was in early January.....over three months ago. I will continue to write. I have missed the blog. Many follwers have probably stopped looking. I understand.
SRH
